09/03/2009 Shampoo Sarcasm
I finally went through Sunday's coupon inserts this evening. I'm not very discriminating in my coupon clipping, and will hang on to coupons for all different types and brands of products if I feel I might purchase them given the appropriate situation (see here). The whole process of purchasing goods, toiletries and cosmetics especially, can be such a racket. What makes us buy certain things? What types of gimmicks draw us in? For example, tonight I came across a coupon for Nivea Body Wash for Women. Now, what in the heck is so special about this body wash that it's better for a woman and not a man? Are we as women drawn to this entirely because it was made for us? Does our estrogen surge at the thought? Perhaps there is some gene expressed on the Y chromosome that makes a man shriek in disgust at having this as his only cleansing option in the shower. Give me a break. Keeping track of His and Hers soaps is not necessary. Life is already complicated enough!
Along these lines, I am intrigued by the language on lotions and cleansers that try to get our attention. I am currently using the shampoo that is pictured here. Underneath the word Shampoo on the bottle it says "With Liquid Crystals. " Oh my gosh! LIQUID CRYSTALS! Thank God! So, I've gone to the Pantene Pro-V website to learn more about my shampoo. This is what it says:
BRUNETTE EXPRESSIONS DAILY COLOR ENHANCING SHAMPOO Helps keep your brown hair strong against damage* Pro-Vitamin system, with prismatic shine enhancers, boosts dark brown tones by protecting against daily damage and stresses that can dull brunette
hair. Designed to protect against damaging elements for true, multidimensional brunette tones. * Gently cleans to help remove build-up and impurities in darker brown shades while leaving hair lush with moisture
Non-color depositing formula gives radiance to flat color
Moisturizing formula helps fight dryness and dullness for healthy shine and strength against damage
Pro-vitamin formula delivers moisture to the hair and gives radiance to flat color
* shampoo and conditioner vs. Pantene shampoo alone
Hmmm. But where's the part about the Liquid Crystals? How can I learn more about their skills and magic? Part 2 in looking into this- examine the bottle. Here's what is says (yes, I am typing out the description on the back of the bottle. It's a slow TV night): "Pantene Pro-V Brunette Expressions Shampoo formula with Liquid Crystals helps protect against daily damage and improves the way light interacts with your hair, bringing out depth and richness. Liquid Crystals help reveal the 3 facets of your color: tone, depth, & vibrancy. "So there you have it Ladies and Gentleman! Your answer! Albeit, I still don't truly understand what these are. But, anyways, my point is just that it's funny when you start paying attention to these things. Imagine seeing the phrase, "NOW with Ginkobalobahoba extract" on the side of a bottle of hair mousse. Someone will pick up that product, think, "ohhhh, ginkobalobahoba! I think I saw Dr. Oz talk about that on Oprah! " and then into the cart it goes. In actuality, maybe Dr. Oz mentioned ginkgo biloba and not ginkobalobahoba, and if Dr. Oz did mention it, perhaps he recommended it be administered in capsule form and not slathered over one's head. I had a great chemistry professor in college who went off on a tangent during class about how everyone wants all-organic vitamins, when we can get the equivalent benefit of a calcium supplement by eating chalk. Then he brought in a pure piece of calcium, secured a protective barrier around it, adjusted his safety googles, and told us to brace ourselves. He threw one little drop of water on the calcium and IT TOTALLY BLEW UP. It was awesome.
