Lifestyle Medicine and me? We go way back.
It has been a couple weeks since I last posted here. I have had two very lovely weeks- and by saying lovely, I don’t mean ALL puppies and kittens, because life is never that way, is it (though I do have two really fabulous, goofy cats)? I have had moments of ACK! (omg I quit my job! We’re down an income! What am I doing?!), but overall, I have found a new groove these past two work weeks and I am pleased to report that I am feeling GOOD (again, not all puppies and kittens, did I say that already?). The first two weeks of January were challenging, being a newly released human from a corporate job. But now- I have four coaching practice clients, or four actual CLIENTS, as the woman who runs a business class I am in right now is reminding me (yes, I am new at this, so therefore this is ‘practice’, but they are still for-real people that I am coaching). I have been attending a business coaching class that is bringing up all things for me- some overwhelm, some challenge, some excitement, some creativity, all the possibilities! I have been finishing up some in person coaching calls, and I am also doing an online lifestyle medicine course.
All my ‘things’ which I now carry with me around the apartment or lay out on our bed, swapping out items during the different phases of these days.
I mentioned in earlier posts that I am also going through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and following her four practices (morning pages, writing for guidance daily walks, and artist dates). Morning pages I have ROCKED since starting this on January 1. It has felt like such an outlet and I literally hop out of bed in the mornings to do them (if getting out of bed is hard for you, please don’t hate me. Maybe my enthusiasm is just a phase?). The other three have been a bit trickier but I am okay with that as I know I will get there one day. Daily walks have not always happened, in fact I missed an entire week because it was so cold here, and that is fine. The artist dates have been hard for the same reason. And I have tried doing writing for guidance on Sundays, but always when we are feeling that stir-crazy moment of the weekend, again, because it’s so COLD so we haven’t done much, and by the time I sit to channel my wisdom and journal, I realize I’m all tense and dysregulated! It’s hard to reach for wisdom when that wisdom has flown away.
But here is an exciting thing. I am prioritizing my writing each day, in addition to my coaching work. In Anne Lamott’s “Bird by Bird,” she writes about starting at the beginning, to write through your memories of first grade, and then second grade, and on and on. And so I am sitting down each day, and writing from the beginning. I’ve been lingering in my grandparents’ homes, remembering small details with all my senses. I am writing small scenes like this-
“I remember my mom telling my sister and me that on their Christmas Eve’s she used to always lie on the couch in Ma Matzka’s giant home on East Grand Blvd in Detroit and would take a nap, and every time I heard this I shook my head. For what child could ever rest enough on Christmas Eve to fall asleep? It’s such an impossibly absurd idea. Piper and I perched at the base of Grandma and Grandpa’s Christmas tree, watching it slowly turn on its magical rotating tree stand that also its sweet twinkling version of Silent Night. We squeezed the stuffed animals we’d received from our great-grandmother earlier in the day, and waited for the rest of Christmas to start. ”
I am moving forward each day, not looking back, just focused on the experience of writing, of experiencing these memories, and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, doing it all without looking back and judging myself.
I was uploading posts to my original Wishful Slacker section here, as a Friday afternoon exercise, and came upon a few that I had written practically in a row in January, 2010- 16 years ago- that could basically also be me talking today. It was a fairly delightful discovery.
My first reaction? -OMG, have I literally been saying the same things for 16 years?
But as I think through it a bit more, there is a pretty amazing congruence between my thoughts at age 28 and my thoughts today, even though it FEELS like I’ve changed so much since then, in so many ways. But reading these posts this afternoon made me see how I have evolved since- how the ideas I chewed on as a 28 year old are still very present for me today. If I had never come upon these old blog entries, I don’t think I would have realized this, either.
I wrote this piece on January 30, 2010, all about personalized genetic testing for multifactorial diseases and how the greatest factors impacting our health are our lifestyles, rather than genetics. It’s nice to see that my health and wellness coaching training is in alignment with what has always felt important to me.
“I took some very eye-opening courses in the Public Health Department when I was at U of M, where the discussion focused on helping individuals to address their ambivalence over change. We learned about identifying the personal barriers to change, and what small steps could lead to minimizing those barriers. The bottom line is that change can really, really suck. While direct-to-consumer genetic testing companies advertise the benefits of knowing if one carries an increased genetic susceptibility to multifactorial diseases, we as individuals may not understand that our greatest control in our health lies in our behaviors. That is what concerns me. So what if you carry a polymorphism present in 5% of the population that is thought to influence one’s risk for hypertension. Is that going to get you to drop those 30 pounds and adopt a healthier lifestyle? You tell me.”
Less than a week before that, I wrote this piece about writing, and what I envisioned as a different life. I love how I talk about writing, which I am so focused on now, and about having my own life experience outside of an organized job, which is what I am also in the process of creating now, and then ALSO that I talk about how cooking brings me peace when these other pieces of life didn’t feel attainable.
“Then, as my pen flowed across the paper, I started writing about my typical day of work. Not work as I know it now, but work as I would love it to be. Without going into much detail, let’s just say that it involved coffee, a cozy home office, midday cucumber sandwiches, and sprints to the local coffee shop for a change in scenery. Sha-right. As if. We know life does not just align itself the way we desire (there’s that whole issue of money and health insurance and groceries and rent), and even our “dream” situation would come with its own list of pros and cons. ”
I write above that “we know life does not just align itself the way we desire,” and yet here I am, almost 16 years after writing that, and feeling like I am actually arriving. And with that, keeping with the theme of that last blog post above, I am off to go cook dinner :)
